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13 Days: Frightland

October 18, 2008

Last night, Meg and I went out for her birthday, the first time we had been out without the kids since, I think, our anniversary in April. Meg had the wonderful idea of dinner at Ali Baba on Main Street, Newark, and if you haven’t eaten there, you need to go poste haste!

I had the idea of going to Frightland after, and I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in ages. Now, this isn’t going to be one of my fake “reviews” where I give every little detail because I think this is something that has to be experienced by being there. We eschewed the rides and games in favor of the haunted attractions, all of them, starting with the hayride.

Even the line to the hayride was fun. They have a stage with a giant screen playing different music videos, and the DJ was throwing free stuff out to the line. The hayride was well worth the entire trip, and included a lengthy walking part through winding paths and dark buildings with plenty of moments of frights and screams. That is, if you’re Meg. She screamed several times while I smiled an laughed and savored every second of Halloween fun! I did get one good jump while walking a winding pathway, Meg hugging my arm until it went numb.

One thing in particular that stood out was the quality of the scenes, especially those that included giant animatronic monsters. The mood and lighting was perfect, the monsters were very well-made and trul ghoulish, and the timing of sound and visual effects was obviously perfectly rehearsed. The actors here and throughout the rest of the park varied from par to above average, and you could tell that some were more into it than others. A warning to parents: the hayride did involve some sexually-themed jokes, but only a very few.

The barn attraction was another winner. A winding indoor path with many scenes of misery and the macabre. Again, the timing of the scares was superb, and the attraction made exquisite use of anticipation to make the next jump all the worse. You look for someone or something to jump from any area that will hold a body, and every time they don’t, you’re pulse just runs a little faster. We got a sepcial treat with a teenager who went in with Meg and I because he didn’t want to go through alone. He told us that he wasn’t scared, so I helpfully let him take the lead! It was worth not being the first to see the next fright for the opportunity of hearing a tough, athletic high-schooler squeal like a 10-year-old girl. MUAHAHAHAHAAAAH!

The next and last attraction we went through was the Attic. Holy crap, you needs to experience this one! It even scared me the whole time we were in it! That’s all I’m going to say as I don’t even want to give away a tiny fragment of this experience! Go there. Now!

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to go through the Manor attraction, as it was already late and we had to relive our long-suffering babysitter. Frightland was well worth every penny we spent, and I truly wish I hadn’t waited as long as I have to go there. Frightland gets two skeletal thumbs up and one middle finger because the stupid DJ didn’t throw me a goddamn glow stick. A word of advice: bring someone who scares easily. It would not have been half as fun if I didn’t go with Meg!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Meggie permalink
    October 18, 2008 6:42 pm

    Yes, I will admit….I was scared. There were a couple of times I wish I had some Depends, because I nearly pissed my pants. Having people touch me is so creepy. But, it was well worth it because I got to spend the evening with the love of my life and provide him with tons of material to make fun of me, for a long, long time. Thanks for suggesting it. Although we probably would have been equally as terrified if we had gone to see W, we would not have had nearly as much fun!

  2. October 19, 2008 7:55 am

    Yeah, but I was in the mood for fake fear, not the real terror that a movie about our moronic president would inspire.

  3. Ed T. permalink
    October 19, 2008 8:05 am

    I am sorry I did not get to go to something like this, would have paid good money to hear Joe scream like Flanders!

  4. October 19, 2008 8:07 am

    Unfortunately, you would have wasted that money!

    I think had one “Whoa” when I got bopped by a hanging ghost on a moving rail.

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