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NH predictions

January 7, 2008

Republicans

John McCain will come in first with a healthy lead with votes from the NH Republicans reinforced by the large percentage of Independents who figure that a guy that they haven’t heard anything about lately must be pretty good. In second place, we will have Mitt Romney, nursing wounds from Huckabee’s “unofficial” attacks. Huck himself would have been third, but he didn’t make it to the primary because Sgt. Carter put him on mess hall duty, peeling ‘taters. Shazam! Third place will instead be taken by Ron Paul, whose impressive internet support will not be sidetracked by the release of the new World of Warcraft expansion which is luckily due out later this year (hopefully not on Election Day).

Democrats

Hillary will come in first after a newly-forged contract with Satan, Prince of Lies but will give up her place by default when it rains and lacking an umbrella, she melts. Barack Obama will take 1st, 2nd, and third place when Kucinich is a no-show due to the zipper on his wife’s purse getting stuck, foiling his escape and John Edwards will be attacked by a small group of amorous women and devoured. Governor Bill Richardson will watch the proceedings from Mexico City, having been deported on an anonymous tip to immigration called in by Bill O’Reilly.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 7, 2008 7:37 pm

    Perfect ! Perfect !

    An award-winning entry, for sure ! And boy oh boy did I need a really good smile right about now.

    Right on, brother.

  2. January 8, 2008 7:41 am

    Smiles are always a good thing, and I’m happy to have provided one!

    That will be $10, please. Paypal is fine.

  3. January 9, 2008 1:31 am

    I see blogs all the time that make me smile. This one flat out made me fall out of my chair laughing. Even my dogs barked at me for making so much noice in the wee hours of the night!

    I won’t be able to watch the Wizard of Oz ever again without seeing Hilary flying around on a broomstick. Alas, some trade-offs are worth it.

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