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Ah, comfort!

December 29, 2006
tags: ,

This past summer, you may remember that there was a seven-day torrent of rain. Instead of being contacted to build an ark to spirit our dwindling fauna to safety, it was my calling to remove the basement carpet which had grown moldy due to a small leak which had originated from somewhere beyond my ability to detect. Flash forward a couple of months to well, now, when my darling wife decided to replace the long-gone carpet with a child-friendly alternative to flooring. By that I mean multi-colored, interlocking foam squares.

I came home from work last night to the smell of burning styrofoam. Thinking that the stove had been left on and someone had found a piece of styrofoam to place on it, I quickly checked the kitchen. That wasn’t it. I paused, growing more and more lightheaded, and shortly heard loving greetings from wife and kid drift up from the basement. When I opened the basement door, I was hit with what can only be be described as styrofoam nostril rape. My eyes had also started to burn and water.

Dizzily, I made my way down my two staircases (easily navigated with the two new legs that my assaulted eyes now saw) to see the new foam flooring and my proud wife and happy daughter. With the air quality down there now being equivalent to huffing lighter fluid, I looked at the cacophony of colored foam floor tiles and knew what it was to see through time and to hear colors.

24 hours later, with the high starting to fade, I realize the upside to the new flooring: if the basement ever really floods, I’ll still be able to make it to my beer on my new floating foam floor.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. December 29, 2006 11:57 pm

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! Righteous!

    And I thought you weren’t blogging cuz you were shredding waves.

  2. December 31, 2006 11:47 am

    there is a real down side to this and that is that that crap that made you high had the potential to knock back your youngun’s brain capacity by a few IQ points.
    bad news.

  3. December 31, 2006 4:17 pm

    Oh Nancy, you party pooper! You’re like Mr. Hand to my Jeff Spiccoli.

  4. January 1, 2007 4:46 pm

    No..he’s not responding to himself…it’s his darling AND proud wife…..I wish I could find something witty to say to his raucously funny post, but I guess my braincells have all been fried due to the wonderfully, mind-numbing amount of time our daughter and I have been playing, I mean getting high…I mean, playing down in the basement….guess what???? I’m 8 months pregnant…guess this one’s gonna be fucked up too……hey, but at least the buzz was good while it lasted!!!

    Darling and Proud,


    Edited for spelling and grammar: Geez, honey, if’ you’re gonna post with my account, at least check your typing! I have a reputation to uphold! 😉

  5. January 1, 2007 4:48 pm

    Well, thank gog this one’s not mine!

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