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I’m speechless

November 29, 2006

Well, not really. It’s not often that an opinionated ass like me is offered as juicy a peach as this AP story.

In an effort to cease the nuclear efforts of North Korea, the US is now custom crafting it’s trade sanctions for the Oompa-Loompa of Death, Kim Jong-Il. It is with joy in my heart that I, as a concerned American citizen, can say that we are now safe from a nookyooler N. Korea now that the Power Pygmy can no longer get his Ipods, Seqways, and French Cognac. This writer suggests that the government works with Blizzard to ban his World of Warcraft account as well. I’m sure the American and European subscribers are sick of seeing “14 gnome war LFG for SKOREA plz plz kthxbye!!!11” in General Chat.

All joking aside (for now), while this is a rather novel way to attack the diminutive dictator, I don’t see it as becoming particularly successful. I would seriously doubt that development of a nuclear arms program will be halted because Jong-Il can’t get drunk on cognac and menace the village pedestrians on his Segway. There’s a mental image I’ll take to my grave.

However, it seems like there has been a bit of thought put into this Machivellian tactic:

Defectors to South Korea have described Kim giving expensive gifts of cars, liquor and Japanese-made appliances to his most faithful bureaucrats.

“If you take away one of the tools of his control, perhaps you weaken the cohesion of his leadership,” said Robert J. Einhorn, a former senior State Department official who visited North Korea with Albright and dined extravagantly there. “It can’t hurt, but whether it works, we don’t know.”

Again, as the leadership of Korea are grown men and not preadolscent boys with perpetual Christmas stockings hanging at their fireplaces, I find it hard to believe that they would give up becoming a world nuclear power in favor plasma TVs and jet-skis. Secondly, I take umbrage to the comment, “It can’t hurt”. What about the guy who makes the Segway. The government has consigned him to bankruptcy by killing his only sale.

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