To keep our lives and souls puritanical,
he says the use of condoms is Satanical.
To suffer pestilence as a nation
is the surest way to avoid damnation.
But, I think those in Africa would have excused one
if the doting papal parents had used one.
The little half-vampire was clinging to the side of the shuttle during the successful launch of STS-119. According to an animal expert, the bat had an injured wing and shuffled off his mortal coil during the launch. We salute you, intrepid rodent!
Rest in peace, little dumbass!
Damn you heathen! Your book learnin’ has done warped your mind. You shall not be invited next time I sacrifice a goat.
I can’t tell if I passed or failed.
Freethinker and fellow Secular Humanist (I think – will retract if I’m wrong) Matt Marshall has offered a stoic challenge to the believers of the DE blogging community. If you can prove empirically by March 7th that there is a god, he will perform a default of the proof-bearer’s choice.
Steve Newton has already taken this challenge, but by evidence in his own post about it, I don’t see him being successful. Observe:
So many of my good friends and readers here are confirmed atheists and agnostics that I thought you might have some fun reading (or even commenting upon) my attempts to get Mat decorated…
(my emphasis)
See, if Steve has real scientific, natural proof that God exists, there wouldn’t need to be multiple attempts. Scientific evidence is scientific evidence. In fact, if Steve had this real scientific evidence, I would seriously doubt he would have waited for Matt to offer a tattooing for his evidence. In fact, what Steve will have is special pleas, emotional arguments, and maybe some appeals to personal experience. None of this is scientific evidence.
Even though Steve has already lost, I look forward to the discussion!
VS. 
Famed Indy car drive Danica Patrick scored a resounding victory over fictional cartoon star and guardian of the Autobot Matrix Optimus Prime on a winter race-off in Indianapolis. The race, sponsored by Michelin and Umbrella Corporation, succeeding in settling the age-old argument: “Who could win a race; a fictional robotic truck or a woman?”
Ms. Patrick, who races under Motorola’s banner and is rumored to be considering a jump to Formula 1, was confident about a subtle shift in her normal racing strategy. Said the Indy racer:
Normally, I research my opponents, drive uncountable test runs, and go all out when I hit the tarmac. Today, I’m going to switch it up a little bit just by being able to show up.
Ms. Patrick’s odd new strategy resulted in a decisive victory over the cartoon hero, and was supported as a good move by one racing fan wo was heard to say, “Well, Danica always gives it her all, but I think her new, simpler strategy of simply existing in the real world won her this race.”
In related news, President Barack Obama has surpassed Jesus Christ in a new Harris opinon poll to find America’s No. 1 hero.
By way of Delaware Libertarian, I found my way to a post from Bryan Shields about a return to community. Now, I thought it would be a rallying cry for us DE bloggers to come a little bit closer together than we have in recent months. In that regard, I was disappointed though I’m certain the rest of the post had a merit of it’s own.
See, the thing is… I’ve gotten used to being disappointed when reading the local blogs. Bile, invective, and hubris: these are the new laws of the land. I fondly remember when DWA was the sherriff, and while you could bathe in the snark of one of Mike’s posts, you didn’t have to search hard to find real meaning in what he was saying. Commenting was rapid-fire, snotty, and intellectual. Even when someone disagreed with you, it was in a way that challenged you to think.
There were many DWA commenters that owe their inspiration to blog to Mike Matthew’s, me included. Mike inspired my passion and humor, Dana Garrett inspired my intellect, and Dave Burris inspired my willingness to listen to the enemy. There was a blogging explosion and for the most part, quality surpassed even the amazing quantity that 2006-2007 provided us.
One blog had a rocky start. I remember Jason Scott being a great commenter. His command of the issues was well tempered by his snark, and he was more well-suited then most to start his own blog, which quickly became a wonderful counter the the right-wing juggernaut of First State Politics. Then, Jason burned out, temporarily leaving the reigns to upstart Liberalgeek, and thus it came to pass that DE Lib became a multi-contributor bastion to the left.
Fast-forward to the 2008 elections, which began in early 2007. I think the furor of Hillary vs. Obama was where it started to go to shit. Democrats were so radically divided, and I don’t think anyone could have predicted the width of that divide. Poison normally meant for the right-wing talking heads was immediately aimed at other liberals. Our snark became ugliness, our intellect all but disappeared. I don’t know how it became so divisive, but the question of Clinton vs. Obama was the catalyst of more filth and blind sheepdom than anything I had ever seen in my life. And I went to Catholic church.
Then, Obama got the nom. The invective between the Obama and Clinton supporters did not wane, but more was added against McCain or Obama. Those suporting the other team were no longer just deluded, but they were evil that must be decried at all costs. McCain wanted to keep us in Iraq for a century and Obama wanted to give all our money away. Either way, it was the end of the ficking world, wasn’t it? And, just about every person in the DE blogosphere jumped in on that shit, fed it, strengthened it, and made it into a monster.
Now, we’re shitting where we eat. We’re so used to constantly attacking the other side, that we are confusing our allies for enemies. Anyone who states an opposing view becomes the avatar of the opposing side and must be dealt with quickly and harshly. We cannot give the benefit of the doubt EVER, because now the real war starts. And, in the middle of this, the Delaware blog community died with hardly a whimper.
We have a few fortresses connected by roads paved in eggshells, and woe betide the one who inflicts the slightest crack in a pure, white shell while visiting another fortress. The slightest hint or suspicion of a transgression elicits complete and fatal retaliation by blindfolded cannoneers.
Some jump into this fight, guns blazing and red or blue flags held high. The rest of us shake our heads in sad bewilderment and wonder where all of our friends have gone.
PS: This post inspired by the latest shittiness inflicted on the community.
From me to you, good company, good food, good drink, good presents, and good cheer!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Humanlight!
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Festivus!
Happy Kwanzaa!
Merry Yule!
For everyone else, Happy Thursday!
‘Tis the season for remembering and appreciating the good in place of dwelling on the bad. With that in mind, I have a quick story.
One day, I was feeling a little tired and under the weather. I was home with the kids while Meg was out shopping, just kinda curled up on the couch with my arm hanging out over the armrest.
Shannon, our youngest, walks up to where my arm was hanging with a big smile on her face. I thought she was going after my coffee mug which was on the table beyond my dangling extremity, so I half-heartedly lifted it to block her from getting it. Instead, she leans over and plants a little kiss on my hand and runs away. Kids can melt your heart.
In the spirit of the holiday, next time she pokes me in the eye, gets gunk all over my glasses, head-butts my nose, takes everything out of the cupboard and places it on the floor, hides my keys, or head-butts my testicles, I will do my best to remember that little kiss and decide to keep her around for a little longer.
I was working on a post on the atheist Christmas display in Olympia, WA but I’ve gotten about 70 emails about this. Readers, your voices are heard and I, while annoyed at the distraction, will respond!
The State of Kentucky has added words to their homeland security code that stresses God’s role in providing security to the state. Obviously, this is a giant violation of church/state separation and will be dealt with accordingly. However, there is a more disturbing depth to this frame of mind.
To say that giving credit for our safety to god is ludicrous isn’t enough. Think of the most hyperbolic waste of human thought, and that’s what this is. I simply don’t have the words, but I will be taking ideas in the comments. The winner will get their words edited into this post and the scorn of religious folk everywhere!
Let’s take a look at the world as it is today and consider the evidence of how trustworthy a supernatural, all-powerful being is with our safety. 9/11, Darfur, the London Underground bombing, AIDS, malaria, TB, starvation, the tsunami in Indonesia, hurricane Katrina, Somali pirates, religious terrorism in India, Nick Berg, mutating influenza, idiots who won’t get vaccinated, climate change, earthquakes, unemployment, homelessness, etc. There is so much pain and misery inflicted on the innocent of this world, that it’s a wonder to me that the faithful think that their god is protecting, rather than actively trying to annihilate us!
Now, that last is obviously an exaggeration, but if an all-powerful being was protecting us,
wouldn’t we at least be protected from these things? Now, I am well aware of the default theist cop-out, “The lord works in mysterious ways”, but that simply does not address that fact that no-one who values their life and well-being can put their trust in a god. No matter who you are, no matter how much faith you have, your god will do as he will, and damn the consequences. Sounds a hell of a lot like luck and random occurrence to me, so forgive me if my if this doesn’t inspire my confidence!
I’d also challenge the faithful to think on this: no matter how much you say you trust your life to god, you don’t and that’s a fact. Protest this point all you like, but you will still lock your door when you go to bed tonight, and you still look both ways before crossing the street. Even the pope rides in a bulletproof car.
Look to the southish skies tonight to see a rare alignment of Venus, Jupiter, and the crescent Moon! It will be quite a sight to behold!
